Tu cate ai?

Incepea nebunia pe la sfarsitul lui Februarie... De pe la Sfantul Valentin apareau in centrul orasului tot felul de comercianti care mai decare mai priceputi in a manufactura mici cadouri si atentii. Ce imi placea cel mai mult erau standurile de flori. Fie in ghivece fie in buchete, de la cactusi mici pana la ghiocei si branduse care tocmai au iesit de sub plapuma de zapada.
Ce fantastic e sentimentul! Cand eram acasa nu cred ca pretuiam la fel de mult tot ceea ce se intanpla in jurul meu. Poate parea chiar o banalitate. Si acum ca nu mai am acele momente le pretuiesc de o suta de ori mai mult.
Pana la 1 martie aveam aprovizionarea facuta deja. Lista cu colege care vor primi martisoare si lista cu cele care nu vor primi pentru ca nu merita. Aveam grija ca nici una din colege sa nu primeasca acelasi martisor pentru ca in cazul de fata repetitia nu este mama invataturii ci este mama plictiselii.
Imi placeau tare mult martisoarlee facute din chihlimbar sau cele din argint. In ideea de a fi practica speram ca fetele sa le poarte mai tarziu ca pe medalioane.
Tata insa, innebunit dupa flori, imi aducea o gramada de buchete de ghiocei si avea grija sa fie din cele mai proaspete. Ideea era sa nu se ofileasca pana in ziua in care le voi fi dat mai departe.
De seara imi pregatea mama cele mai frumoase haine si imi faceam baie ca sa fiu curata a doua zi.
Dimineata dupa micul dejun, mama imi impletea parul in coada spic. Incepea de foarte de sus. Aproape din frunte si mergea din ce in ce mai jos adunandu-mi tot parul meu bogat si lung. Mereu mi se plangea ca e atat de mare si de greu de apucat!
Imi dadea drumul pe usa numai dupa ce ma verifica de-a fira par. Daca am martisoarele cu mine, daca am buchetelele de ghiocei de la tata, daca am bani de masa de pranz si la sfarsit imi dadea un pupic pe nas.
La scoala era alta atmosfera decat de obicei. Fiecare cauta sa fie imbracat frumos si curat si sa aduca martisoare care mai de care. Ale mele nu erau prea scumpe insa nici prea ieftine. Si gestul conta pana la urma.
Mai erau unii mai cu mot care luau brose si animale din plus, insa sincer, tot ale mele erau mai frumoase. Iar fetele se bucurau cand vedeau flori. Cui nu-i plac florile?
La sfarsitul zilei numaram cate martisoare am primit si de la cine. Mereu intrebam in jur: "tu cate ai?" si mereu faceam comparatia sa vad care baiat a fost mitocan si nu mi-a dat nimic. Au mai fost unii cateodata insa i-am uitat. Atunci pe moment insa stiu sigur ca m-am suparat in sinea mea. Cu toate astea stiam ca atunci cand vin acasa tata imi va da un buchet de garoafe rosii sau roz si o amandina :) combinatia mea preferata!

Imi e dor de ziua de 1 Martie serbata asa cum se cuvine la noi acasa. Aici nimeni nu mai tine nicio sarbatoare si nicio traditie...

it's May!

Back home it's cherries time. Here it is still cold and ugly and i listen to the wrong music to make me forget the sweet taste of home. I didn't have cherries in 2 years now. When i talk to my mom we always avoid the food subject. I just miss it too much. In this country where all is plastic, even food tastes like...nothing.
I tried to reproduce most of the things i used to eat at home and it all tastes and smells bad. What do they use to grow vegetables here? I can't believe that everything is so unusual.
And i am trying. You can't say i am not because i have no choice. I have to eat what the supermarkets offer. I saw organic things and i saw garden vegetables but it is all too expensive. I need to stay within the budget (which is low).
I am asking all kind of suggestions from my mom but in fact nothing works here since i can't find what i need. Having a garden would be the ideal thing. With a piece of land i could rent i would have a higher chance of eating vegetables which taste like vegetables.
I would plant a cherry tree and a peach tree. I don't know if this place would help those grow or if they have any chance of giving good fruits, but at least i would try.
I can't believe it! It's May and i haven't got one cherry! I don't even dare to ask my mom if she had any because i bet she had like kilos already. And back home they are cheap! So cheap! Here things like cherries or strawberries are rare and pricey.
I don't even dare to look around because i would just start crying! It makes me miss home so much that my chest cannot take that much amount of pain.
It's cherries time and i'm only dreaming!

Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. ~Charles Dickens, Great Expectations, 1860

When feelings just float inside of you and when you feel an excruciating pain inside of your heart, then it is the time when your entire body will react to it. It is something just as natural as smiling only quite the opposite of it.

I always considered it a weakness. Because i had enough moments when i needed to cry in public, but my education didn't allow me, i ended up feeling even worse when i was all alone in my room. I recently learned though, that crying can be a sign of how strong someone really is. It is a sign that i shouldn't care about what people say. It is just a natural feeling and we've all been there at least once or twice in our lives.

What is so bad about it to begin with? Maybe just like Kurt Vonnegut said, we should prefer smiling above crying since there is less cleaning to do afterwards.

Since i realized what a feeling this is, i began to wonder: why would others dare judge? It is not like life is pink and above all, even God is crying! Have you been outside the last time it rained? That was the sky releasing its emotions! Silver drops bigger or smaller stand for every feeling. have you ever felt like the weather outside is the mirror of your feelings? That is because Nature is resonating with you!

What keeps us apart from robots or any other entity with no soul is...just the soul. That is what makes us different! We are all equal under the same sky, but if we would all be the same then world would be the most boring place.

I am not saying that we should all become one, or that we should accept everything, but basic feelings are in all of us.

What would make me special if i release my feelings when i feel like? Well i would be special because most of the ones around me are hiding it. I am who i am and i learn to change. Just because there are some people out there who forgot that we all start as a seed and end in the same ground, it doesn't mean that i will consider myself inferior or less. it just means that they went astray from their road.

In life being unique is what makes us stand out from the crowd. It is what gives us color in a black and white world full of a large mass of Homo Sapiens.

Be yourselves and if someone won't like you the way you are, then remind to the others that they can look somewhere else !

Dedicated to Mária!

Be strong and cherish who you are because you live for yourself!

It is small things that make it special!

It is as important as the rain water for trees and as beautiful as a sakura bloom in spring!

A relationship with a person that can care about you is unique. Nowadays dating is a fashion and dumping is a system. People tend to forget about what love really means. They also forget how to love and how to be part of a relationship which is not based on interest, money or properties.

The best love is the one where you feel butterflies in your stomach even after years with the guy!

i love to receive a roses bouquet or chocolate candies and i love the kisses which come with such a surprise.

It is not rocket science to know how to cherish and appreciate the other. It is simply sharing a feeling, making that person feel important and above all make him/her feel unique in your life.

It is said that nothing happens just randomly, so if the two of you met the only thing you have to do is to learn to accept each-other in your lives.

People are different and people tend to impose their own ways on the other, but the ideal way is to create a harmony between the two of you!

Old school couples are not lost! They are still there. People who are feeling the same connection for years. People who complete each-other even though their love was no a fist sight one.

It can happen that you have to work for the relationship, maybe against all the odds and you have to make it happen.

it will always be the small things that make it special. I think it is important to show love at any time.

Here is a black thought: what if something happens with the world and you never had the time to share you love? You would never forgive yourself for not showing what you feel.

Changing pairs is not always the best solution to find the perfect relationship. There is no such a thing. People are different, they come from other educations and backgrounds and in such an internationalized world like ours, everything is possible.

I think that trying your best together with a person is the best option. Don't forget that small things make it count!

True friendship :)

Friendship deffinition

new start

it is time to start fresh! today is that day in which i take my life in my own hands and with a lot of fear but excitement i start all over again. Every fresh start is important and it makes you feel something different. It makes you feel like you can do anything and any shade of doubtless fades away.
I will belong to me, i will be directing my own moves. And what better relationship is there, than the one with yourself?
No, i am not narcissist, nor am i self centered, but it feels damn well when you can think for yourself without any pressure.
Today is the day!