Didn't think i will feel that in my life but it seems it's my turn too. I feel i was played and lied in the last one year and a few months... Lie is one thing i definitely hate in my life,and as much as i try to run of it, i face it even more. With an innocent face saying an easy "I love you!". How can that be? When the actual feeling is dislike. I find day by day another description of me,another face of me which i didn't know i have. But humans are meant to learn til the very end. And i think i will always have something to learn. Learn how to act,how to be brave,how to say what i want,how to be independent and eventually trust no one but myself. In this life we all fight for our own reasons and purposes,and it rarely happens that those are the same with the person next to you. Really rarely. Since we are all different,it is only normal that even what we want is different. Hmmm....what i want?I think i forgot that answer myself. When i was young was easy to answer: sweets and toys to play. Older i became harder my answer got. Nowadays i have no idea. And i cannot pretend there is nothing that i want. Finally i think i am as normal as everyone around me. I want a good job,a nice car and a nice house. or i should be like that... Eventually i am not. I feel i think different. I just want that nice peace we all need at one point in life. But for me is now. I need a moment to rest alone,to make my mind clear,to open my eyes good and decide which way i should get in this life. it won't be an easy choice. Since i am lied all the time,and since i cannot see the bad from good i cannot pretend i will really make the perfect choice. I can only promise myself no matter what will come i will do my damn best. At least that i can do. And for all those who will be part of my life,i will do my best too. And i hope they will accept me with all that i have:good and bad,happy and sad, normal and strange,healthy or sick. And i won't play with anyone's life. That is the last thing i will do. I don't even know how. I never did it. Maybe i'm too used to be honest. That might be the most important defect i have. But i cannot change such a thing. it is me. The way i was educated,the way life was shown to me. Is better to be honest than to talk people by behind. And my life has just begun. From now on i will face all that there is outside my family protection. I hope with all the knowledge i have,and what i will gain in life i will leave something behind me. Something that people might talk about over years. Or maybe just a simple family that will remember good things of me... After all this is what we all leave behind...Human beings!
