damn!

Hmmm...even if i'll tell you i'm sure you won't believe me... But i'm telling you that...I found him...that half we search all our life...And i'm so happy i did. Don't ask me how it happend cause it was so sudden i still think it's a dream or something. This summer at the muntain we met and hmmm...we watched some movies together we talked a bit and in about one week we decided to be together.And we still are...it's about 4 months since that and i feel like i know him forever and ever. Maybe i met him in another life.I don't know that but i feel i can talk to him for hours and hours and i won't get bored. He makes me laugh and he makes me feel safe.He can cook and he likes to do that for me,he likes to walk in the parc with me and to hold my hand so tight that he won't let me go whatever will happen...And still he does let me go...At the airport he has to do that. I really hate that place,cause when i'm there to let him go i feel like he takes my life with him.Not a piece,not half but all my life and my heart. I feel like i'm letting go to myself without even doing something.But what can i do? Shit! That airplane is taking my love away...last time i was at the airport it was exactley 2 weeks ago.He visited me for one week.Damn! That's too short i want him for longer. I want him forever next to me,with his warm lips pressed on my chest and with his arms around me. I want to feel his soft lips every 5 seconds and to dive in his blue eyes. To play with his blond hair and to laugh a bit when i see him staring at me...I want to dance for him,to make him feel good and to see his smile always... He left me there in the front of the airport hugging me and kissing me and he was so sweet like the last piece of a candy you just ate. I felt like i wanted to scream his name,to run after him and to stop that airplane from going away. Amsterdam...the destination...how can i get there faster to wait for him in the front gate? To be there with a big smile and tears in my eyes and to say "Welcome home my love! I was waiting for you to arrive!" Damn! I can't do that... But he's comming back to me...in winter for sure...to see his love he's doing his best and i know that! He's trying everything possible just to see me and i will always thank him for that. God! Can you please give birth to Jesus faster than 25th December so i can see him earlier? I know it's not possible but winter break is so far from us...And still,i will survive.I'm working every day so i can stop thinking of him and still he runs free in my mind...As he would say sometimes naked...He's always there it can't be helped! And i love him! Damn i do!